Canto CCCXLIV: Adventures in (No) Jury-Sitting

Or: Toma, Matt Murphy!

Author

Gustavo Arellano
March 23, 2024

Gentle cabrones:

Have you ever served on a jury?

You should. It’s our civic obligation. Justice is blind…ish.

But I never have. I probably never will.

Not to humblebrag, but my notoriety precedes me in Orange County. That’s what happens when you’re with the Infernal Rag for 17-ish years, and a naranjero por vida. People recognize who I am, start wondering and whispering, and voila! No jury duty for me.

So it seems. So it has.

I got a notice for jury duty two weeks ago that didn’t go nowhere. Scratch that: it ruined my plans to join my honey’s excursion to Baja California, messed with my work week, wasn’t even for my home courtroom, and had the unprecedented extra for me of having to call in at 11:30 every day instead of 5 p.m, which REALLY messed things up.

Latest wacky experience with me and jury service, which I’m sure will get only wackier as the years go on.

The first one must’ve been in my early 20s, because I still lived in my childhood home in Anacrime. This was before the Internet became a thing, or even calling in to see if you had to show up. Nope: I had to show up from the start.

I went to the Fullerton courthouse of Orange County Superior Court, a three-story or so structure up Harbor Boulevard, within walking distance of where I used to work as a data monkey. I showed up for five straight days, sitting in the jury waiting room. I was wondering if I’d have to go into the same courtroom where I had to take a a driving class to get rid of a point off my driver’s license. It was a comedy driving class, and while it was funny, I was annoyed by the guy announcing he did “clean” comedy because he was a Christian. Bruh, Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine. He always had a soft spot for borrachos — and borrachos ain’t clean!

Where was I? Jury duty. First time. Nothing.

Next time: Was older than 27. Same experience as first, but this time in the Central Courthouse in SanTana. Didn’t want to serve. Took a Clarence Darrow book as a talisman thinking the legendary lawyer would keep me away from serving because no way a prosecutor, a judge, or a defense attorney would let someone who read Darrow serve on a jury.

First time, didn’t get called into the courtroom. Second time, I did. Didn’t even get to voire dire — when the prosecutor, judge, and defense attorney ask prospective jurors questions while they sit in the jury box. I thought Darrow saved me.

That would be the last time.

Every time I see one of these…OY VEY

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Called in a couple of times, and nada. Then 2016. Maybe a year earlier. I was the editor of the Infernal Rag. Central Court. Brought my Darrow book. Got called into the courtroom. I recognized the judge: William Froeberg. Crusty veteran. Had sentenced white supremacists and nasty killers to deserved, lengthy sentences. Mostly clean, but Moxley smacked him when he needed to be smacked.

I get called up for the first round of voire dire. Name? Age? Work?

When I mentioned the Infernal Rag, Froeberg stopped. He said bemusedly that my newspaper didn’t write nice things about him.

My response, paraphrased: “Well, Your Honor, if you didn’t do bad things, we wouldn’t write about them.”

The courtroom gasped. Froeberg stared at me, huffed, and went on to the next juror.

The prosecutor was a guy who had gotten a nice write-up in the Orange County Register for using large poster boards for arguing his cases. Colorful past. Just Googled him: Cameron Talley. The defendant decided to represent himself. After asking all the prospective jurors in the box about who they were, Judge Froeberg asked us if anyone thought for any reason the defendant would not receive a fair trial.

I was the only one to raise my hand. An annoyed Froeberg asked for my explanation.

I told him that people who defend themselves in court have almost no chance to win, and I found that unfair. The defendant looked at me with sad eyes; Talley stared, but not in a mean way. Judge Froeberg could tell I was sincere, and explained that the defendant was told he could get a public attorney, but he refused, and but that Froeberg would ensure that the defendant had all tools available to him.

The time came for Talley to dismiss his first prospective juror. I was #1, and he kicked me out with a smirk. I thanked Judge Froeberg for his time, and said to not do anything that would get him in the Infernal Rag. The courtroom awkwardly laughed. He smiled.

Next time: 2019. Harbor Court, Newport Beach. When I arrived, there were a LOT of prospective jurors, wondering what we were doing in Zooport instead of Stabba Ana.

The judge: Gregg Prickett. Guess which part of his name did like Mox to emphasize?

He asked anyone who felt they had a conflict of interest to state why. I said I was working on an investigation involving the Orange County District Attorney’s office.

Prickett snapped that this was not the time to disclose that. I sat down. Came back the next day. A bunch of us prospective jurors waited outside Prickett’s courthouse. A number gets called.

Mine.

I’m the only prospective juror in the courtroom, the whole juror box to myself. Prickett rips into me, saying what I had said could’ve prejudiced prospective jurors and could lead to a mistrial. So does the prosecutor, whom I recognized: Matt Murphy. Superstar. Homicide division. Tried the worst of the worst, almost always won. A constant on true-crime shows. Kinda looked like my old boss, Andy Van De Voorde. The Infernal Rag had written mostly nicely about Murphy, not-so-nice against Prickett.

The implication was that I had said during open court was on purpose. I maintained that wasn’t true — that I was merely responding to what Prickett had asked us to respond to. We went back and forth for a while — and then I noticed who the defendant was.

Hossein Nayeri.

Arrested for kidnapping a man and a woman, chopping off the man’s penis and pouring bleach on the wound, and leaving him to die in the Mojave Desert (he and the woman miraculously survived. O.C. sheriff’s deputies gave him a terribly crude and sadistic nickname when discussing the case among themselves that we Weeklings will never forget). Fled the country. Extradited. Broke out of Orange County Jail. Arrested again.

Now, in the same courtroom as I.

I didn’t get nervous, but I told Prickett and Murphy now I knew for a fact I couldn’t serve on this jury, because I knew Nayeri was guilty.

His defense attorney now piped up — how did I know? Nayeri stared at me with furious eyes.

I refused to say his name, but I said that if it was who I think it was, we had covered his sordid saga in the Infernal Rag. Guilty multiple times over, and homeboy was baaaaad.

The three-way interrogation — with an assist from Murphy’s junior prosecutorial partner — lasted an hour. After a while, Prickett and Murphy realized I really wasn’t trying to mess up anything.

Dismissed. I apologized to Prickett for the whole ordeal; said it was okay. When I exited the courtroom, hundreds of angry prospective jurors stared me down. I shrugged at them, then went on to my day.

(Section deleted here — those who know, know)

Nayeri is serving life without parole. Prickett is still a judge, now in North Court. Murphy left the OCDA office to do more TV and annoy District Attorney Todd Spitzer.

Me? Still haven’t served on a jury. No me quieren, y no me deben de querer.

**

Enough rambling. This was the semana that was:

Now THIS is a backdrop! Photo by my former student Lisa — great to see you for a second!

IMAGE OF THE WEEK: “Broken Record” host Justin Richmond interviewing me and Long Beach library legend Cordelia Howard about the war on libraries for the Friends of the Long Beach Public Library at the U.S. Bank Building’s 14th floor. Richmond revealed that I was his inspiration to get into journalism after he heard me speak at Santiago Canyon College about 18 years ago. WOW.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “I have never had illusions about the value of my individual contribution! I realized early that what a man or a woman does is built on what those who have gone before have done, that its real value depends on making the matter in hand a little clearer, a little sounder for those who come after. Nobody begins or ends anything. Each person is a link, weak or strong, in an endless chain. One of our gravest mistakes is persuading ourselves that nobody has passed this way before.” — Ida Tarbell

LISTENING: “Isabelle Demmers Organ Concert.” I went to an organ recital this past Sunday at the Segerstrom Concert Hall with a compa from work, and it was GREAT. The featured organist blasted through tone poems, Stravinsky, and Wagner — but I’m highlighting this concert of her playing Bach because it was his birthday on Thursday! Limber, soulful and funny — never heard of Demmers before, but I’m now a fan.

READING: “Please Shill Me”: Hacking through my back issues of, well, everything, and man, is The Baffler at the Punk Rock Museum in Las Vegas the bitterly funny anecdote I needed to read. No one does caustic in American literature like this journal — and American journalism needs more causticity.

BUY MY NEW CO-BOOK! People’s Guide to Orange County tells an alternative history of OC through the scholarship and reporting of myself, Elaine Lewinnek, and Thuy Vo Dang. There’ll be signings all year — in meanwhile, buy your copy TODAY. And, yes: I’ll autograph it!

Gustavo Events  

April 21: I’m going to be at the L.A. Times Festival of Books at USC— for sure in conversation with author Hector Tobar, but probably more events as well. Attendance is FREE, but you gotta make reservations for at least Hector — details next week!

Gustavo in the News

“LA Dodgers News: Star Player's Interpreter Fired Amid Allegation of 'Massive Theft': I was part of the Los Angeles Times team, — Nathan Fenno, Adam Elmahrek, Dylan Hernández, Jack Harris, and Paul “Crying Barbs” Pringle — that broke a huge scandal involving the translator of Dodgers megastar Shohei Ohtani, so we got A LOT of citations. Like Newsweek…

“Ohtani's interpreter accused of 'massive theft' for gambling”: …something called the Score…

Gustavo Stories 

“Grítale a Guti”: Latest edition of my Tuesday night IG Live free-for-all.

“Asian American activists team up to boost AAPI vote in OC”: My latest KCRW “Orange County Line” focuses on people doing the good work in la naranja.

“‘A symbol of our nation’s decline.’” Trump vows to remake California”: An L.A. Times newsletter you should subscribe to plugs a columna of mine.

“Gustavo Arellano on breaking the Ippei news”: I was part of the Los Angeles Times team, — Nathan Fenno, Adam Elmahrek, Dylan Hernández, Jack Harris, and Paul “Crying Barbs” Pringle — that broke a huge scandal involving the translator of Dodgers megastar Shohei Ohtani, so I got the honor to do A LOT of appearances. Like FOX 11 (which I did from that parking lot in Downey off the I-5 Lakewood exit…

“As It Happens”: …on the CBC…

“The Dan Patrick Show Podcast”: …with one legendary sports media Dan…

“The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz”: …and another…

And KCRW during All Things Considered, LAist during All Things Considered, CBS Radio, CBS Evening News, “Los Angeles Times Today,” Fuji TV, Nippon Television, Mr. Sunday, TV Asahi, ViX, and Channel 9!

“Ysabel Jurado made history in the primary. Can she do it against Kevin de León?”: My latest L.A. Times columna talks about the city council candidate that has already upended Eastside politics. KEY QUOTE: “What I found instead in the community room at Tokyo Villa was a humble, joyous kickback that reflected the woman of the hour.”

“I know who Trump should pick for VP — and she’s right here in O.C.”: My next-latest columna is about Huntington Beach Mayor Gracey Van Der Mark’s scary rise — and prospects. KEY QUOTE: “So have at it, you two. Hop on a Zoom call and rant about evil Taxifornia. Scheme. Flatter. Campaign.”

“Shohei Ohtani’s attorneys accuse interpreter of ‘massive theft’ tied to alleged gambling”: My latest L.A. Times co-story (alongside Adam Elmahrek, Nathan Fenno and Paul Pringle, with massive assists from Dylan Hernández and Jack Harris) dives into a bunch of DESMADRE. KEY QUOTE: “Representatives of Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani on Wednesday accused his interpreter of engaging in a “massive theft” of the ballplayer’s funds to place bets with an allegedly illegal bookmaker who is the target of a federal investigation.”

You made it this far down? Gracias! Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram while you’re down here by clicking on their logos down below. Don’t forget to forward this newsletter to your compadres y comadres! You can’t get me tacos anymore, but you sure as hell can give them — and more — to the O.C. Catholic Worker!